Father's Day. If you look up, "father", in a large dictionary, you will find, it is one of three long entries. The other two long entries are for the words, "fate", and "fault". I thought that was interesting because, fate plays a hand in which father you get, and as we all know, it's always the old man's fault.
I lost my father twenty-six years ago. He was 62 and I was 32. Just when I realized he might have some wisdom to impart, he was gone. Not that I didn't listen to my father, but I was just getting over that, "know it all", stage, as my mother would call it. I know, it was about time.
I find myself thinking about my father all the time, and especially as this day approaches. Unfortunately, I can't really hear his voice any more, but I do hear his words. He had a saying for every occasion. "Finish strong", "two wrongs don't make a right", "mind your own business", among many others. He was a tough, honest and hard working sanitation man for the city. I heard him get up every morning, rain or shine or snow, and leave for work. When it did snow, we might not see him for days. He would walk out of the house, down the snowy street, and then hitchhike to Brooklyn, to the garage. On the kitchen table he would always leave half of his egg sandwich for me. It was his way of saying good morning.
He was rough on me when I was young, a strict disciplinarian, who used his hands or a belt. That's how he was raised. I admit to being scared of him, and now I wonder if fear, and raising children makes any sense. I know it did when I was young, but now that I am a father myself, I know it doesn't. Although, when you have daughters, a boxing background doesn't hurt. I always wanted to be a better father than my dad. You know, not make the mistakes you thought, or heard, he had made. Well, what's interesting to me, is that now that I am a dad, being as good as him is hard enough.
I was living the most exciting time of my life when my father got sick. My first TV show. It was a shock. I brought him out to Hollywood and we spent the last five months of his life together. At first, being naive, we thought we could beat this thing. Even cancer was no match for us. In the end it was us who were no match, but we tried, together. As sad as it was, I wouldn't trade those five months for anything. There is one consolation with cancer. It gives you the time to talk about anything and everything. To say the things you want to say, to people you love. We talked a lot over those five months, and I think because of that, I have nothing but fond memories of the man I called dad.
Happy Father's Day. T
Happy Belated Fathers Day! I am so glad you have created this website. You have millions of fans that have missed seeing you everyday in their living room! Myself included. I remember from your talk show how you used to "journal" every day. This is a great forum and Thanks! Anyway..I soo understand what you are saying. My Dad, too, had cancer..twice. The first time, they removed half his lung and he lived for another 7 1/2 yrs. We thought he had beaten it, but, like you said, cancer is tougher than all of us. Although he received chemo and radiation therapy, that was what ultimately killed him. He ruptured an artery to his colon and basically bled to death in front of us. The day prior he was in great shape..then suddenly we were in the ER and the doctors were saying there was nothing they could do..and he has a terminal disease anyway!! What nerve!! That was my DAD!! That was in 2005 and yes, I wish we had more time to say all those things you know he already knows but you want to say them anyway. Like "Thanks for always being there for us", "I am grateful for the way you raised us, with morals, respect, kindness and virtue". We did tell him what a great DAD he is and how much we loved him but it was on his death bed. It was truly the worst thing I ever had to go through. I was very depressed for the longest time. The only time I was the least bit happy and could refocus was, honestly, when your talk show was on. The way you talked of your family..your father's brothers and sisters made me think of my own Dad and made me smile. I thank you for that. I came to your show from Fla twice and had the show lasted, I would have been there as often as they would allow. Again, I am glad for this forum. Thanks again for the smiles..and for making people more appreciative of their fathers.
Happy Belated Father's Day Tony!!
I lost my beloved father to Alzheimers in January of 07 and I still feel him with me every day. I can still hear his voice and dream of him often. He was a hardworking policeman and did odd jobs like house painting to supplement his income. He was not a highly educated man which made it hard for him to understand my love of knowledge and books. We still communicated well and had many long conversations about people and life which I will never forget. Unfortunately Alzheimer's robbed me of my father before he actually passed away. He lasted 5 and a half years after his diagnosis and it was so sad to lose him mentally. At times I got very frustrated with him and regret my impatience. I visit his grave often, but miss him every minute of every day of my life. Good memories!!
Happy Fathers Day Tony, And everyone else that reads Daily Danza! I'm 43,And only in the last couple of years since my father got sick, Have I had the chance to know and understand my father. Although it's hard to see a strong man become weak, Especially when it's your dad. I'm thankful that his illness has given us a chance to get close, Even if it's later in life! I've always loved him and I know he's always loved me. But, I never had a "Leave it to beaver" type relationship with him. I also grew up in Brooklyn, Not to far from where Tony grew up, Pine St and then Eldert La to be exact. I guess that's why I enjoy Daily Danza and Tony himself.Listening to his stories about where he grew up and his father, Reminded me of my own childhood and made me realize things about my own Father...I Thank You for that Tony!I guess my Father was a typical neighborhood type guy. I don't remember ever doing things with him that I had seen on TV shows. There were no family meetings, He never asked my opinion about things. To be very clear, Our house wasn't a Democracy. Maybe it was the era, Maybe it was Brooklyn? I never understood my father until I got older, and learned to accept him for who he was, And not for who I thought he should've been.I never really did things with him like go to a ball game, Just him and I. I never remember father and son talks, I do remember getting yelled at, And getting Cracked a few times.But,My Father showed his love in other ways. He loved to cook, And always would Fry meatballs for me, And then he'd watch you eat,lol.He'd say I'm the greatest cook on the planet!...He was nuts, But he was funny.LOL,I guess that's why I enjoy to cook myself?My Father wouldn't let my Mother near the stove, He did all the cooking. My Father would take me out with him, But not to places where a kid would want to go. We used to go and visit his friend Midgie in a Gas Station on Jamaica Ave or we would visit his friend Tony in a Candy Store under the EL or The Florist on Fulton St. He would give me Quarters to play Pinball and he would hang around talking with the guys.In todays day and age,They would probably call it child abuse. But, looking back I wouldn't change a thing!At times he took the whole family with my aunts,uncles and cousins upstate NY, Or "The Country" as he called it. To my Father, even Lynbrook was the country growing up. We'd take a drive out to the Pancake house in the country on Sundays. And he did take me to the rides in Howard Beach or The Bow Wow and also Sleigh Riding in Highland park.I remember hot summer nights,Crabbing off the Pier in Howard Beach or Rockaway. But,I think that's because he wanted to cook the Blue Claws in sauce,LOL. As I'm older and he is sick, We spend alot of time together. I've learned to realize that he did the best he could, For who he was. He raised me the way he grew up. At times I felt cheated and wondered why he didn't do certain things, or act like the Fathers on TV. But now that I'm older and he isnt so active, I've had the chance to really get to know him. And on this Fathers Day, I'm thankful for an education that I could've never got in School. And, I now know that all Fathers are the not the same or perfect, You just do your best. My Father always told me, Everybodys different, And people like different things, "Why Do You Think Baskin Robbins Makes 31 Flavors" It makes sense? So to the Man that taught me how to cook, And sayings you'll never find in any book. Happy Fathers Day DAD!!!
I think a family without a father is not a family. I love my dad and as I got older I realized how selfless father's really are. They always sacrifice and love without being noticed. A Father's love remains silent while mothers make a lot of fuss over the sacrifices they've made for the family! Not that mothers aren't important but when I look at my father I see so much love and passion that he always showed through his actions by working 3-4 jobs to be able to buy me anything I wanted, and he never, not even once talked about how much he works hard to run the family. And I've been blessed to have him till day and he's still working so hard despite being too old. Sure we had arguments and fights, I even left the house couple of times because he didn't want me to go abroad for studies. Now I know that he was just too worried about me and my safety and that he wanted to protect me. I don't miss any chance to show him how much I love him and how grateful I am for having him as my father.
Many girls realize this, that their fathers are the greatest men they've ever met in life but they're just too shy to admit it.
So, Happy Father's Day to you Tony, You're a great human being.
I loved reading about your dad. I know you will always treasure those memories. My dad will turn 70 this year. I am so blessed to still have him. Although we never thought we would still have him with all his heart trouble. Only 1/3 of his heart functions. The rest is damaged from his many heart attacks. He has had two bipass surgeries and now has a pace maker. I actually happen to believe he wills himself to still be with us for myself and my 11 year old daughter. He has a special bond with both of us and looks out for us all the time. I love him dearly and don't know how I will survive when that time comes...but until then, we both cherish every moment...
Happy Father's Day to my wonderful dad and to you too Tony!!
Happy Day, Father
I never got to know my dad. He died before I was able to speak. But despite all of the ups and downs, my mother dated a man that became the greatest father surrogate a child could have.
Of course he had flaws, as my mother, and now I realize, as I. They parted 10 years ago but, looking back, some of my funniest and most adventurous times were at moments I should have been afraid, broken or given up.
Many friends I had, had no father figure so I prided his disciple of curfew's, etc because I saw how it helped shaped my decision making, attitude towards people and life in general. I was lucky to have him for majority of my life but, only as I get older, you never really outgrow a father's hug.
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To Mary...my wife and I raised our sons (now in their 20s) to respect their elders. Unfortunately, our oldest is not following suit with his kids, and I know this every time I hear his oldest...only 8...tell him to go to f--king hell constantly, and he does not do anything to discipline her. My wife and I feel we would be overstepping our bounds by saying something to him. Its sad how young they start with lack of manners and respect due to what we consider lazy parenting.
Hi Tony,
I just wanted to wish you a Happy Father's Day. I lost my father 4 years ago to cancer also. I only had 5 days knowledge that it was the end, but I wouldn't trade those 5 days for anything.
As a child I also got the belt or went over the knee.I got a good one for bring my brothers Playboy book to my father, trying to get him into trouble. Boy did that backfire. I didn't use those methods with my three boys. I just put the fear of god in them and that seems to still work. I was taught as a child respect and manners. That is something that I also taught my children. Question for you, When did parents stop teaching their children respect and manners? Kids these days have none. (That must be the same parents that don't use their signals.)
Enjoy those figs,
Mary